am I old?

Maybe I in the future,I hope

I am about to become 23

And I have nothing

And the most terrible about this 'nothing' is because I dont know where to begin

Everything starts to fall apart just after I finish High Scholl

I fell like someone throw me into a forest without nothing and said 'Good Luck'

And I simply dont know what to do

I'm 23 and I dont know to play guitar

I'm 23 and I never have worked

And the time keep running

Me,with almost 23

Sometimes I feel ugly,I feel fat, I feel wrong
And sometimes I fell OLD
But I dont feel bad in being old
But I feel bad in becoming old,but I feel bad because this 'nothing'
Because the time will not coming back
Everyday sounds like my life is getting more and more to the end
I dont meaning death but a end without nothing
No more friends, no more trips, no more joy

Is strange because I dont see a beauty in youth, I just want to have good memories
I want to see my post youth like my 20's and see wonderfull things
I just dont know what to do, I dont know where to go, where to spend money and time
I'm almost finishing my college but that is just a fake, I'm becoming a Biologist
But I cant see a future in it, my university is just too weak, no one will trust me or give me a job
Dont get me wrong I dont think in suicide or something
I just want a answer,a motive to keep walking, to keep believing
I feel like someone trap in a hole, and cant escape from there
I feel like I'm dying in this hole and maybe when helps coming I will die just after comes out
I'm 23 and I dont have best friends
I'm 23 and I dont drive
All what I have is a lot pictures of bands around my room
Living a life so diferent than mine
All what I have is musical instruments I dont know play
All what I have is just broken historys
I want to take pictures of good days
Smile when I remember a day
Feel a strong hug from someone who missed me
Know somebody who thinks like me
I'm 23 and my life looks down
I'm 23 and I dont know what to do